All Roads Lead to Pete Carroll: The Next Head Coach of The Chicago Bears

Let’s just admit it, the Chicago Bears can’t help themselves.

It’s 2024, and the Bears are staring at yet another rebuild—their fifth since 2010, but who’s counting? And what’s their grand plan to fix decades of dysfunction? Hire Pete Carroll, a 73-year-old coach whose best years are behind him.

You couldn’t make this up if you tried.

While teams like the Jaguars are chasing innovators like Ben Johnson, a guy who turned the Lions offense into a wrecking machine. The Bears are doing what they always do: hiring a coach who peaked when flip phones were still cool.

And let’s not forget Mike Vrabel, a proven winner with discipline and accountability written all over him. But no, he’s too intense for a franchise that prefers soft vibes and pizza parties.

The Bears aren’t just bad at hiring coaches, they’re elite at it. Elite at keeping the same outdated philosophies alive while the rest of the NFL passes them by.

So buckle up, Bears fans. All roads lead to Pete Carroll. And if that doesn’t tell you where this franchise is headed, nothing will.

The Case for Pete Carroll: Why The Bears Think He’s The Answer

Pete Carroll makes sense for the Bears, for all the wrong reasons.

Let’s start with the obvious. He’s old. At 73, he’s exactly the kind of coach the McCaskeys dream about when they’re sipping tea at Halas Hall. Safe. Familiar. Harmless. Carroll’s resume looks great on paper: Super Bowl champion, 10 playoff appearances, endless gum-chewing enthusiasm. But none of that fixes the dysfunctional mess the Bears are right now.

The Bears don’t need a motivational speaker. They need someone who can build a modern offense, develop Caleb Williams, and turn this team into a contender. Carroll’s approach? Pound the ball, play defense, and hope the clock runs out.

The NFL doesn’t work like that anymore. Passing wins games. Schemes matter. Analytics aren’t witchcraft, they’re real. But none of that fits Carroll’s playbook, which might as well be printed on parchment paper.

And let’s not pretend Carroll is coming here to rebuild. At his age, he’s not thinking about long-term projects. He’s thinking about short-term wins, which is exactly what the Bears don’t need right now. This team isn’t one piece away, it’s ten pieces away, and Carroll isn’t built for slow, patient development.

But that’s what makes him perfect for ownership.

Carroll doesn’t scare them. He’s not going to push back on Ryan Poles or demand sweeping changes. He’s going to smile, clap, and keep it moving, no matter how bad it gets. He’s the anti-Mike Vrabel. He’s comfortable. And the Bears love comfortable.

The only thing worse than hiring Pete Carroll is pretending it’s a good idea. And the Bears? They’re already halfway there.

The Coaches We’ll Miss Out On...Because Bears

Let’s talk about the coaches we won’t get, you know, the ones who could actually fix this mess. But this is the Chicago Bears, and competence isn’t part of the culture.

Ben Johnson: Too Smart to Be a Bear

Ben Johnson is the crown jewel of this year’s head coaching carousel. He turned the Detroit Lions offense, (yes, the Lions) into one of the most dangerous units in football. But why would Johnson want to leave a stable front office and competent ownership to work for a team that still thinks establishing the run is a personality trait?

Let’s face it, Ben Johnson wants nothing to do with Ryan Poles. Reports already suggest Johnson is eyeing Jacksonville, where he can work with Trevor Lawrence and a team that’s more ready to win now.

But in Chicago? He’d inherit:

• Caleb Williams, the next QB the Bears plan to break.

• Ryan Poles, a GM with a 27.5% win rate (After they lose to The Packers)

• George McCaskey, who thinks accountability is a buzzword.

Ben Johnson isn’t stupid. That’s why he’s not coming here.

Mike Vrabel: Too Tough for Chicago

Then there’s Mike Vrabel, the alpha male the Bears desperately need but will never hire.

Vrabel turned the Tennessee Titans into a playoff team despite having Ryan Tannehill as his quarterback. He’s tough, disciplined, and doesn’t care about feelings.

And that’s exactly why he won’t be hired.

The Bears don’t want tough. They want safe. Vrabel wouldn’t tolerate the soft culture at Halas Hall. He’d demand accountability, bench underperformers, and probably make George McCaskey cry in a team meeting.

Reports already suggest Vrabel’s focus is on teams with higher ceilings, like the Jets.

And let’s be honest, the Bears don’t want to be challenged. They don’t want someone who’s going to shake things up. They want someone who will clap and smile when they hand out participation trophies in the locker room.

Vrabel was never an option. He’s too competent.

The Bears Don’t Want Greatness

Ben Johnson and Mike Vrabel are modern football minds, guys who could actually develop Caleb Williams and win games.

But the Bears? They don’t want greatness. They want familiarity. They want someone safe. They want Pete Carroll.

And that’s why we’re here, year after year, watching other teams make the right moves while the Bears keep digging deeper into the same hole.

The Bears Are Stuck in the Past, And They Like It That Way

The Chicago Bears don’t just live in the past, they’re hoarders of it.

This is a franchise that still clings to 1985 like it’s a personality trait. They talk about toughness and defense as if the NFL hasn’t evolved into a quarterback-driven league that rewards creativity and speed. While other teams are hiring offensive innovators and embracing analytics, the Bears are busy rewinding VHS tapes of Mike Ditka yelling at refs.

That’s why Pete Carroll is such a perfect fit for this organization. He’s the living embodiment of yesterday’s NFL. A coach who’s built his career on establishing the run, leaning on defense, and treating forward-thinking offense like it’s science fiction.

The Bears see Carroll and think, “This guy gets us.” And that’s the problem.

A History of Playing It Safe

This franchise has a track record of recycled ideas and weird hires:

• Marc Trestman (2013): Hired for offense and destroyed the defense.

• John Fox (2015): Old, outdated, and uninspiring.

• Matt Nagy (2018): An Andy Reid knockoff without the brainpower.

• Matt Eberflus (2022): Who?

And now, they’re looking at Pete Carroll, who hasn’t adapted in years but comes with a Super Bowl ring from over a decade ago.

The Bears Fear Change More Than Losing

The McCaskeys don’t want change. They fear it. Change means accountability. Change means admitting failure. So instead, they’ll double down on safe choices like Carroll, who fits their vision of culture over competence.

This isn’t about winning—it’s about comfort. And as long as the Bears keep chasing the ghosts of the past, they’ll stay exactly where they are—irrelevant.

What the Future Looks Like Under Carroll

Year 1: Pete Carroll arrives at Halas Hall clapping and preaching “culture” like it’s 2013. He says things like “We’re close,” after every blowout loss. Caleb Williams looks promising—until Carroll tries to turn him into Russell Wilson 2.0 and has him handing off 30 times a game. The Bears lose 10 games, but don’t worry—Carroll says they’re building something special.

Year 2: Caleb Williams is broken. The offensive line is still garbage, and Carroll insists on establishing the run—even when it’s 3rd and 14. The Bears offense ranks 31st in passing, but hey, the defense is scrappy. Caleb starts seeing ghosts in the pocket, and fans are googling mock drafts by Week 6.

Year 3: Carroll finally retires the phrase “let’s compete” because there’s no competition left. Caleb Williams is officially labeled a bust, and the Bears draft their next savior QB. Carroll claims Caleb just needed more time, but the franchise can’t wait because ticket sales are down.

Year 4: Carroll retires. He leaves behind a broken QB, a bottom-five offense, and a team that’s still rebuilding. Bears fans get excited for yet another head coaching search, hoping this time it’ll be different—but we all know it won’t be.

Rinse. Repeat. Cry.

This is the Bears playbook, and Pete Carroll fits it perfectly. Preach culture, ignore innovation, and pretend hope is a strategy. Then, when it all falls apart, blame the players and move on.

All roads lead to Pete Carroll, because the Bears never learn.